My Christian Diaries
Sunday 3 December 2017
One question
I used to think, I was such a 'good girl' and hence the reason why God loved me, and as a result, the reason I had such a good life. I sometimes judged others thinking they must have done something so terrible and maybe the reason why God was punishing them... I couldn't have been more childish, naive and so wrong. However this was my attitude for such a long time. Till I went through trials I thought I didn't deserve and also, made some wrong choices and was faced with the consequences. Realizing my mistakes, I turned to God in the peculiarity of my situations and each and every single time, God turned my story around in such a marvelous way that I finally understood 'I am who I am purely by the Grace of God. I knew clearly that the turning of events to favor me wasn't about me or what I did or didn't do but purely and solely by His Grace.
Yesterday in service, I began to ponder on my life and everything I had been through and I began to see His mighty saving grace, constantly at work in my life. I was indeed humbled to say the least. He looks past my ignorance. Through tests and trials, sins and forgiveness, even when I have absolutely no hope, every single time He helps me. I was convinced that God really loves me. He really loves me and wont give up on me.
This reality filled me with a sense of humility, gratitude and thankfulness. I was so overwhelmed as I began to see things a lot differently. Everything became clear to me how merciful He is and has been towards me just because He loves me. I was left with one question burning in my heart. How can I please you with my life? after the many times You saved me, the many times you forgave me, uncountable times you rescued me, I realize this life of mine belongs to you.
PRAYER
Dear Father, thank you for your love for me. I am deeply grateful. Please Father, as the days go by help me to know oh so clearly how I can live this life for you. How I can be of service to you. As I say this I fear that I may not be able to meet up with what You will require of me but I put this fear upon You; upon your Mighty awesome power. I put this desire in Your able hands I pray that in your infinite power and awesome glory, that you put my fears to rest and grant me the desires of my heart in Jesus precious name. Amen.
Thursday 30 November 2017
If you love me, you'll obey me
It's been such an eventful year. So many victories some disappointments but through it all so many lessons learned. Today as I pondered on the word of God in 1John 2v1-17, it says, v5. But those who obey God's word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.
I panicked when I saw this because very often, I loose focus but for the Grace of God that restores me again and again. However, I was later comforted with the thought that as long as I keep asking the Holy Spirit for guidance, as long as I keep taking those little steps, as long as I keep praying and asking for help and guidance I will make it.
As a mom, even though I love it when my children tell me they love me and say how great a mom I am, I am more moved, touched and happy when they listen and obey the simple instructions I give to them. So I fully understand how God feels when we obey Him. It is the greatest expression of love.
PRAYER
Dear Father,
you said the entrance of your word gives light; it gives understanding unto the simple (Psalm 119v130) thank you for the light that has come to me today and thank you Dear Father for new understanding.
I humbly ask in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that, Father you help me to obey you, help me recognize your voice so that I yield to your instructions. Teach my heart to delight in your words and your instructions such that obeying you is easy. Guide me oh dear Father for I pray in Jesus precious name. Amen.
Friday 10 February 2017
There's Too Much At Stake
The struggle is real. When you want to go up, there are forces pulling you back down. Gravity. When all you want is peace, sometimes you have to fight for peace.
I find my peace, sanity, and stability in Christ, in a strong consistent relationship with Him but the truth is, there are forces that pull against this and one is forced to fight for this relationship as it often comes under threat. Sin. Thoughts. Desires.
Just as I was enjoying the peace of a comforting, life giving, renewing and rewarding relationship with Christ my Lord, all of a sudden, the threat of temptations come and momentary as they may seem (and obviously are), they are so strong because they stem from deep within me. My own lusts, emotions, and desires. I'm left to decide between my now and my future, my flesh and my spirit and its tough. I'm forced to choose, to fight!
This battle never ends. It comes and goes and comes again and even as I write I know that it is foolish to satisfy the moment at the expense of my future, my life.
Resist! I must resist! repeating to myself, "I cannot satisfy the moment at the expense of a life time, I cannot sacrifice my future for just a moment of weakness and pleasure."
Matthew 4. Why did Jesus have to be tempted? Why do I have to be tempted? He was actually led by the Spirit to be tempted! why? The same way I ask myself, "why do I have to face this?
Funny enough, when I compare my situation with Jesus's I find so many similarities.
Verse 4, Jesus, after having fasted for so long, was obviously hungry, the devil tempted him with bread. I am sexually deprived, the devil tempts me with sex. Jesus overcomes by the word, the devil strikes again.
Jesus probably vulnerable and missing his Heavenly throne by virtue of the lowly and humbling experience of the desert is tempted with what is a part of within him, Enthronement. He was tempted to satisfy his now with the kingdoms of the world which was in no way compared to the highest enthronement in Heaven on the right hand side of God Almighty. He made a choice. The choice of a higher Glory v10.
Six minutes, or an hour (of which I strongly doubt) of bodily pleasure against all my goals, my dreams, my desires, my honestly rewarding relationship with God, my sanity, my innocence, my peace, my life, my God.... is way too costly. So much at stake.
At the end of the day it just boils down to a choice. Deuteronomy 30v19 urges me to "choose life that I and my children may live."
Jesus chose life in v10 and next ANGELS not humans but ANGELS came to attend to Him....
There's too much at stake. I choose life. I'm ready angels...
PRAYERS
Lord Jesus you advised your disciples to pray that they do not give in to sin. Father today I pray. keep me strong alert and ready when temptations come. Keep in my consciousness the stakes. Oh lord I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen.
Thursday 9 February 2017
In The Mirror
Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt whose lives are lived in complete honesty!When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.
Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt.
I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord." And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord." And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment. For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.
The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”
Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord. So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!
"Dear Lord, I am ready to eat of the bread of life today and I believe I am transformed by your word."
This was part of what I prayed as I woke up this morning and just as I opened my Bible to read, it was like looking in a mirror. Psalm 32 just reflected me and I knew immediately "that is me!! that is me right there."
This feeling of peace overwhelmed me as I kept on reading. I feel grateful, thankful, overjoyed and blessed all at the same time. There's no doubt, we find ourselves when we look in the mirror.
PRAYER
Father Lord, I am so grateful for your word. Thank you for your forgiveness and your restoration and you undying love. I am so grateful. Thank you Father. For in Jesus mighty name I pray
Monday 6 February 2017
He Is Coming Back Again
I must confess, the thought of Jesus coming back again really frightens me sometimes and sometimes I avoid the topic totally. Perhaps because I keep looking at it from just one angle. The angle of horror, fright and suffering.
Today as I read the Bible, Mathew in chapter 25 told the story of the 10 virgins five were prepared five weren't. The story ended up sadly for the five that weren't prepared. I couldn't help thinking, if only someone could advice them, if only someone could warn them then their story would have ended otherwise.
Now back to Jesus's second coming, many things come to mind. I must not be left out, I must be prepared and I must warn everyone; as many as I can. The story has to end well for us.
How sad it will be for anyone who heard but didn't heed to the warning.
No one can deny the signs not even I who has always focused on every other aspect of Christianity and not on the "frightening" aspect of the Rapture.
The truth however remains the same. Jesus is coming back again we must be ready!
PRAYERS
Heavenly Father, thanknyou for your mercy and patience and for your love for us that you give us time to be prepared for your second coming, you give us warning signs and touch our hearts so we heed and yield to your instructions. I pray now oh Lord that you help us especially those who are still asleep, still on the fence and those who are simply absent minded I pray for the hard at heart that each and every one of us puts our house together in preparation. Help us oh Lord for you are faithful. Help us for I ask in Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.
Sunday 5 February 2017
When I go wrong...
Just when everything seemed to be going on well, with me and my relationship with God, I feel this sudden pressure a familiar heaviness I can tell it's not from God, It's been plaguing me since Friday, threatening to destabilize and distract me from my goal which is to solidify my relationship with Christ. My mood, my countenance and my routine were disturbed...I prayed, tried hard to resist but I failed and gave in to my past habits...
The struggle is real and even though it seems like a small and harmless error I know without a doubt that I don't feel blessed by it instead I feel ashamed and just don't want to face the fact that I failed.
The Devil is real, he never goes away he tempts again and again especially in areas where we are most vulnerable the Bible says when the devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left him until the next opportunity came (Luke 4v13). He never wants to see us succeed.
However today, even though I feel ashamed and unworthy, I know I have no other hiding place except in Him. Where else will I go to to find forgiveness and restoration? Who will wash my sins away and set me back on the right track? Who will chastise me and keep me from falling? who is not ashamed of me even when I am ashamed of myself?
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, forgive me for I have done wrong, and I have no excuse for my wrong doings. I am deeply sorry and I do not feel proud of myself. I have no one else to run to but You Oh Lord. Forgive me and wash me with your blood. Please remember your promise even though I never want to take undue advantage of it but remember you promised your grace is sufficient for me and that you will never cast me away. Please forgive me and make me whole again. For in Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.
Ref: John 6v37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.
Thursday 2 February 2017
Your Love Is Life
I woke up this morning with an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness. It is so obvious how sure God's love is! when I think about his goodness and his faithfulness each day, I'm convinced its not because I am worthy to receive the kind of love that you give. When I go astray you work out a way for me to come back home and not just that but you invite me to come and dine at your table. You feed me till I want no more.
Now you've brought me back home again and each new day you show me new love. I'm humbled by your consistent, persistent and faithful love for me. You set my feet on the right path, leading me where I should go, you put the right thoughts in my mind so I am not confused. You fill my heart with desires so that you bring them to pass. You put your Spirit in me so that I do not stand alone, You protect me that I fulfill all you created me to be.
When I strayed, even though I was alive I was dead... but now, you made me find my way home you feed me with The Bread of Life the very Life of Jesus Christ and now I am alive. I am alive to say Thank you. Thank you my Lord thank you for another day.
PRAYER
Thank you Father for your love today, thank you for keeping me in you despite my shortcomings. I humbly ask today that I live in your house all the days of my life and that my heart continues to be open so you teach me how to live and lead me on the right path (Psalm 27).
Help me to love you with all my heart all my soul and all my mind (Mathew 22v37-39) and to love my neighbours as my self. Grant unto me purity of heart and purge me of negative attitudes and the wrong mindsets I have picked up along the way.
Help me so my light shines that I manifest the glory you put in me. Help me Lord for I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen.
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