PRAYER

"Lord I don't know how to start but I know I have things  in my heart that I have to pour out please help me Lord. 

Lord I'm scared I just don't know why. Please I run to You. In you I hide myself."

I just muttered these out and thought to myself as I wondered why I don't pray often. I love God  no doubt but why is it so hard to spend time just conversing and praising and talking to the Lord in prayer. Why is it such a task. Talking to God in prayer should not be this difficult it should be something I long to do, or something I can't live without. A delight.  To be truthful, most times I feel like I'm just reciting or repeating and I'd rather not dishonor God  that way. I'll just keep shut. Other times I feel like I should be saying something smart, or praying in a particular manner for a certain duration and all these just take me further away.  Other times I feel bound and limited for lack of words. Like something trapped on the inside and will take only a special grace to let out....The burden of prayer. 

Then it hit me. This is where I'm going to start from. I'll let Him know my burdens. How much I need Him, His help, His grace. How I long and desire to have long conversations with Him but don't know. How I get so dried up with lack of words to express how I feel. How I get oh so distracted with so many worries that take me further and further away. How I need Him more of Him. 

I'm not going to even try to sound smart, or gratify myself that I know what I'm doing.... I'm going to do just this; open my mouth and start by saying anything and everything that burdens me. By letting Him know when I'm grateful, sad, or how much he means to me and how I don't want things He has given me to take all my attention away from Him. I will say four letter words like "I love you Lord" "I need You Lord".  Like learning to talk, I will start gradually. Little at a time.  I will look up from where I stand. I will plant the seed and I know I will grow. 

Trying to pray a certain way has left me dry, tired and prayer less. I will just open my mouth and and trust that Lord, you will fill it with words that give You all honor and Glory.

PRAYER

Dear Lord, I want to talk more with You. I want prayer to be a delight.  Something I long to do. I want to pray at all times. I want You to lift the burden of  prayerlessness  away from me. Please help me Father for I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen.