CONFESSIONS

I'm tired today, I'll just sleep through quiet time. Then, one night becomes two, two nights become a week and before long, I find myself feeling guilty and distant from my God. 

My devotion time all things being equal should start by 4am and I usually enjoy time in Gods presence because I learn a lot and I have such confidence and audacity to take on my day. To live.

All of these are abscent when I skip spending time with my Maker. 

I consider it wrong to find time (the time He granted me in the first place) for everything else and to skip quiet time. But I confess I do this from time to time.

When I realize however I am drifting I try to make a U-turn and make things right again; because without Him there is no me. 

PRAYER

My Father my King. Please forgive me when I take You for granted, when I become selfish and go my own way. I'm sorry. Please give me the grace to be disciplined and diligent with my quiet time. Help me Lord so that I put you first above every other thing knowing that You oh Lord have been faithful to me. I am hopeful Lord that I change and grow out of this because I know that when I call on You, You hear dear Lord for this I say thank you. For in Jesus mighty name I pray. 

FIVE TALENTS

It is not all the time I drift into deep thoughts where I begin to analyze and evaluate my life. But when I do, questions like "why am I here?" "am I fulfilling Godly purpose?", "am I making a difference in my world?", "am I maximizing my time here on earth?" saturate my mind.
Part of who I am always wants to be better, and be much more than I already am. I always feel deep down in my heart that, I am capable of so much more... I always feel I could be stronger, wiser, and accomplish much more than I currently do and that there is so much in me that is struggling to come out... Well these are mere thoughts and they carry a greater and more meaningful definition in my mind.

In Matthew 25v14-29, Jesus talked about a man who was traveling to a far country and before he did, he called his servants and divided amongst them, some talents. To one he gave five talents to another, two talents and to the third, he gave only a talent.  When the master came back, he asked for an account of how they used the talents given to them and because the first servant made good use of his, he gained five more; so did the second servant but at the turn of the third servant, it was discovered that he buried his! And this is was the verdict v28 take therefore the talents from him and give it unto him which hath ten talents. v29 for unto everyone that hath shall be given and he shall have an abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. KJV

My take on this scripture is this, I know that talents in ancient times referred to money but if I used the word literarily to mean natural abilities, I can however relate it to my life. God fearfully and wonderfully made us (Psalm 139v14) depositing within us, special abilities (2 Corinthians 4v7 but we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that these all surpassing power is from God and not from us. NIV)  and we are to function in the fullness of these abilities and not take them to the grave.
So, therefore if God Almighty blessed me, and purposed for me to function to a certain degree, I don't want to fall short of that expectation. If God created me specifically to fly I certainly don't want to walk or run.
I believe our dear Father, God Almighty created us on purpose for a purpose and I want to fulfill that purpose. I honestly and truly don't want to bury my talents or the hope He had when He sent me to this world in this specific time. I want to be ALL He has designed and called me to be.

Paul in Ephesians 1v 16-19, prayed; I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might... This prayer says it all and I pray for the grace to say this prayer as often as I should.

PRAYER
Heavenly Father I thank you for I am a perfect expression of your specific design. Created on purpose and for a purpose. Furnished with treasures and talents, fearfully and wonderfully made and hidden within. You are awesome Lord and no one living can comprehend your awesome majesty. My heart says thank you even as I approach your throne of mercy. I pray that Dear Lord, you open the eyes of my understanding that I may be filled with the Spirit of wisdom and revelation of the knowledge of you! Bring light to every dark area of my life. Help me to know without a shadow of doubt the hope you had when you called me..help me to know Lord, what you hoped for when you created me and when you do, steady my heart that I may walk in the fullness of this calling. You created me and you know my tendencies, my shortcomings and weaknesses..strengthen now your servant that I may walk according to your will even as I hide myself in your Awesome Perfection.
Help me to know the riches of your glorious inheritance in me and the tremendous greatness of your power towards me because I believe according to the working of your great might. I have always known in the deep part of my heart that there is more that your have deposited in me that is yearning to find full expression. Dear Father please help me to break the chains that holds me bound and the barriers that hold me captive. Release now your servant that I may shine in the light of your glory according to your will Dear Father for I pray in Jesus mighty name. Thank You Father for when we call on you, you hear. Thank You sweet Holy Spirit for enabling me to put to text what you have lodged deep within my heart. For this I am truly grateful. Amen.





    

What's Your Struggle? 3

God's ways are truly not our ways and I bless His name for one more reason impressed upon my understanding to trust in Him always. Still on the issue of struggles, challenges or little sins (if I may address it as such,) it was pressed upon my heart through my daily study of the Word, that the challenges we face in every phase of our lives are most times on purpose as God intends to use these situations for a couple of reasons; some of which I now know and the rest I am yet to discover.

1. He uses these struggles to Test our love and commitment to Him. It is very possible for God to totally rid our lives of struggles and trials after all, all powers belong to Him; but every trial He allows us go through is for a purpose and we can either trust Him and pull through or trust our own feelings and strengths which will fail most times. Judges 2v3 Wherefore I also said, I will not drive them out from before you; but they shall be as thorns in your side, and their gods shall be a  snare unto you. God clearly could have driven these nations out but they were left on purpose to test the israelites and their faithfulness and love for Him. Judges 2v20-23 further confirms this. v21. I also will not henceforth drive out any from before them of the nations which Joshua left when he died. That through them I may prove Israel, whether they will keep the way of the LORD to walk therein as their fathers did keep it or not. Therefore the Lord left those nations, without driving them out hastily; neither delivered he them into the hand of Joshua.  
2. To teach us warfare. Most of the children of the Israel that made it to the promise land never really experienced the Lord and how He fought for them through out their surgeon from Egypt through the wilderness and to the promise land. And as time passed by, the battles Joshua fought would have been mere tales. In Judges 3v1&2 this reason is clearly stated. Now these are the nations which the LORD left, to prove Israel by them, even as many of Israel had not known all the wars of Canaan; v2. only that the generations of the children of Israel might know to teach them war, at the least such as before knew nothing thereof; 
3. To teach us to call to Him! This lesson to me is the most important because this part permits God almighty to show up and take over the situation. His power covers us, envelopes us, and bears us up. He empowers us when we call to Him and what seems like a struggle or a challenge just melts before Him (and us too as a result of His awesome presence.) and we no longer have to rely on ourselves or our strengths. In Judges 3v8, the children of Israel do this and God was quick to answer them. As I read on, I discovered that on several occasions each time they fell out with God (as is typical of our lives), and ran into trouble they called to Him, He was always faithful to answer. He always made a way and always came to their rescue. Through out the entire Bible I have discovered His desire to always be a part of our lives, a strong desire to commune with us. To have a relationship, to help, to take part and be involved with us to engage us and be one with us. Isn't He wonderful, and just so good. These scriptures Jeremiah 33v3, Psalm 91v14-16 confirms this to mention a few.

Prayer, diligent communication and a solid relationship with God are very important to a believer and follower of Christ as air and life is to the living. These lessons I have learnt really got me thinking. I no longer have to engage or feel guilty or bad with my struggles. I can always hide in the covering of His mighty hand. Oh that I will find rest and dwell in His presence trusting in Him ALWAYS.

PRAYER

Dear Lord you don't make mistakes that's how I know that you didn't just bring these lessons to my understanding for nothing. You intended for them, Dear Lord, to comfort my troubled heart, to reassure me of Your love for me and of Your strength. To re-open the lines of communication between You and myself, re-affirming and to further strengthen our relationship. Thank You dear Lord that I can always trust in you. Now Lord being sure of all these, I seize the opportunity of this moment to let you know, please Dear Lord, I'm worried that like the children of Israel, I will keep on going back to my evil ways and may fall short of your presence; so I ask dear Father, strengthen and keep me firmly rooted in You Dear Father that I may be obedient to your will, desire and purpose for me. Grant unto me the grace that makes prayer a delightful habit and keep me in you Lord with the strength that makes You God for I don't want to be anyplace else. Thank you Dear Lord because you understand and you hear me each time I call. For this I remain grateful even as I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen.

What's Your Struggle? 2

Torn between my personal desires and God's plan and desires for me, I found myself seeking answers. Deep down in my heart I have faith that I will get answers because I have asked; knowing  He is true to His word when He said "call on me and I will answer, and shew thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not." Jeremiah 33v3. KJV.

It simply can't be mere coincidence that my daily Bible study happens to be at this very point in time be on Joshua. This book talks about the children of Israel being led by Joshua after the death of Moses, into the promise land. He leads them through various battles in order to claim what had been promised them by God. (I couldn't help but notice that even though God had promised the children of Israel the promise land, they still had a part to play... they still had to fight their way through.)

Well, relating the WORD with my personal struggle (as is my guide and as I always try to do,) I pondered as I continue to search for answers in His word. Before they (the children of Israel) went to possess their land, Moses said in Deuteronomy 7v22, "The Lord will clear away these nations before you little by little. You may not make an end to them at once, lest the wild beasts grow too numerous for you. This got me thinking...

Moving forward to Judges 1 after the death of Joshua, some tribes failed to drive out the natives from their midst and in Judges 2v1-3 The angel of The Lord went up from Gilgal to Bokin and said to the Israelites, 'I brought you out of Egypt into this land that I swore to give your ancestors, and said I  would never break my covenant with you. For your part, you were not to make any covenants with the people living in this land; instead, you were to destroy their alters. But you disobeyed my command. Why did you do this? So now I declare, that I will no longer drive out the people living in your land. They will be thorns in your sides, and their gods will be a constant temptation to you.'

These passages come to me each time I find myself struggling with old habits, throwing me into a cascade of thoughts... as try to align my desires with His desires for me.
I concluded this way... I am still on a journey and whilst on it, I discover some places are familiar, and in some places, I have no clue of where I am. The journey could sometimes be smooth, interesting and fascinating and other times it could be dark, scary and bumpy. In all these I seek, I find comfort in the truth that as long as I'm not the one driving and God is, I can rest assured that I will get to my destination because, He knows the way because He is the way. He is the author and finisher of my faith, He (Christ) in me, is my hope of glory and He that started the good work in me will bring it to completion at the day of JESUS CHRIST.

PRAYER
Father Lord, I surrender all my struggles to you trusting in your love for me. Please Father help me find my way and help me to please you in all my desires and in everything I do. I hope and trust in you and only you for I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen.

What's Your Struggle? 1

I made up my mind never to exclude God from anything I go through no matter the situation. I took this decision, having learnt my lesson to call on The Lord no matter what. Previously, I would run and hide away; ostracising and punishing myself unnecessarily with so much guilt and self loathing such as would offer me no redemption. Now, I am now fully aware that he came for someone just like me! I don't have to be strong all my myself. He came to help me. Luke 19v10. NLT.

For a few days now, I have been struggling with a couple of things... well, my favorite way to pass time, relax or just to have some fun is to dance, listen to all kinds music (some of which may not be entirely Christian base), watch movies, amongst many other things. These things seem trivial but it has taken a few days from me, pondering and wondering if these things which I honestly love doing is actually against the will of God or doesn't bring Him glory.

I find my self in a constant argument with myself and would constantly say this "...but, all I wanna do is dance..." It is really hard giving up something one particularly likes.
I sometimes successfully stay away from listening to circular music but the moment I happen to listen to a few tunes I like, I literarily just get sucked in. What does one do when something you like doing could be "bad." ...Well, I said this prayer, holding on to His word when He said "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but The Lord delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34v19.


PRAYER
Dear Lord, thank you for your loving invitation to approach your throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4v16. Lord please help me in every area of struggle, bring clarity for every confusion, answers for every question and direction in every way I seem to be lost. I ask for strength in every area of my weakness even as I look to you the author and the finisher of my faith.
Thank you dear Father for I am confident in the truth that all things are working together for my good for this I praise Your name even as I pray, in Jesus mighty name Amen.


 

Confidant & Friend

Everyone has that one person we go to for advice, tell our secrets to, or just simply share our deepest thoughts with.  Someone we are true to and completely honest with! ...I know I do. And even if we don't have such people in our lives, deep down, we all desire to have someone to whom we can just be open with! 

I discovered that it is a lot easier for me to be open arround sincere and genuinely loving people. Conversations are longer and I always look forward to having their company! The underlining factor is usually LOVE! The more I'm loved the more I want to love back. The more I am loved the easier it is to share! 

John 3v16. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever beleiveth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

The love God had for us made it easy for Him to share/give us his one and only Son. 

The more I realize  and truly believe That God loves me, the freer I am to not only love back but be open to him and actually do what he commanded us to do when he said come to me... Mathew 11v28. 

The Devil truly tries to convince us that God is angry with us, He is disgusted by our filth or we are simply not good enough for Him. For years I believed him. He daily bombards us with these lies till we start believing it and this creates a barrier between us and our loving Father!!

Daily, I am convinced of His love for me and with this realization comes the need to open up and tell God everything whitout holding back. 

PRAYER

Dear Lord, thank you for the love you have for me. Please increase me daily in wisdom and understanding in the reality of this truth. Fill me with love for You and help me to make You my first confidant in all that I do. 

Help me to walk with You more closely, follow You more nearly and love You more dearly each and everyday of my life for I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen!

Come At The Lords Invitation

Come to the table of mercy

Receive from His nail-scared hand

Come eat the bread of salvation

Drink of the blood of the Lamb

These where the lyrics to the song that was sang today at church for the Communion Service. I was so blessed. It's a good reminder not only of who we are in Christ Jesus but also of the ultimate price of His shed blood. Healing in the body and forgiveness in His blood. 

Luke 22v19 And when He had taken some bread and given thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me." NAS. 

Because He gave His body mine is saved   Because He broke His, mine will never be broken. 

Luke 22v20 And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, "This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in My blood." NAS.

No sin too filthy, no shame, no guilt -that this shed blood cannot wash away! I'll never know how much it cost for it was done freely for me. 

Thank you my Father thank you Lord Jesus!!!

Three Little Words

I woke up this morning with a deep sense of gratitude and looking around me it was so easy to see what God has done for me, what He has done in me and what He continues to do for me.

All I truly desire, I have; all I truly need, He has provided... Life, health, children, peace, love, safety, friends, the things I asked for and He provides, the things I never really knew I needed and He gives freely and abundantly. For all these I am truly grateful. Even to the tiniest detail my heart is truly grateful. 

Dear Father,

I am grateful for every every prayer you said YES to and for the ones you said NO to. Thank you Dear Lord for fulfilling your word in my life when your said in Romans 8v28. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. KJV.

Thank you Dear Lord for fulfilling your promises to me especially when you promised never to leave me or forsake me. Deuteronomy 31v6. Be strong and courageous; nor be afraid of them. For it is The LORD who goes before you; He will not leave you or forsake you. KJV.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the depth of Your love for me. It saves me, it keeps me, it rescues me, it sets my feet on the right path. And this depth of which not only is it inexhaustible, I may never know how deep it runs Romans 8v 38-39 For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. v39. No power in the sky above or in the earth below--indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of  God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. AMEN. NLT.

Thank you Lord for you are committed to my success in Christ Jesus that even when I am lost, you always help me find my way back to you. --I am an expression of your love, your grace and forgiveness. Thank you Lord for each time I call you hear me and even when I cant speak, you still listen - to my heart.

Thank you for this morning, the new love you promised each day, and for this opportunity to write these things about the one that gives me so much joy, You my Lord my God my Father and King. 

And so Dear Lord here it is - these three little words which is all I have to show how grateful I am for all these things you have done and more these three little words-- THANK YOU LORD!!!

JUST TALK TO HIM

For most people, prayer time seems like punishment, or some grueling task. Well, for me it was quite a struggle especially because I always felt I had to pray according to some standard, like someone or for a certain amount of time. Often times I found myself repeating certain phrases over and over again. I often prayed in frustration, "God, please teach me to pray." I was always saddled with the guilt of not being able to just simply pray when deep down it had always been a strong desire.
I never stopped admiring my younger sister who could not just pray for hours but would pray about anything and at any time and would see result to her prayers.

I have this friend that would ask me each time I was going through any difficulty no matter how little or insignificant the issue was, he would ask, "Have you prayed about it?" and my answer would be "No." but when the conversation was over, I would ask myself but why? (knowing all I know) Why wasn't prayer my first call and I'll feel so bad. This was very frustrating to say the least.

Luke 18v1 And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;
Philippians 4v6 Be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer, supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God. 

After much, I sincerely thank God because He grants us the desires of our heart and He sure listens. These days, after much study and pondering on the matter I realize that I can not impress God with eloquence or knowledge of the Bible or my ability to spend a lengthy period of time repeating my self over and over again to impress people or to even feel justified.
Matthew 6v7 And when you pray, do not keep on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. NLT

Now, when I do pray, I open up my heart and JUST TALK TO HIM and the more time I spend in His presence the more I have faith that He hears me and not only does He have the capacity of take in all I have to say no matter how insignificant, but He also has the power to change any circumstance. All He wants is the sincerity of my heart and that's all He needs to be able to build me up in every area which includes a solid prayer life and most importantly, He cares for me.

1 Samuel 16v7 But the LORD said to Samuel,  "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance but the LORD looks at the heart."

PRAYER
Dear LORD I receive the grace that makes prayer a delight even as you grant it unto me freely in Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.

...No Matter What

Somtimes when I feel like I have been a "good girl" it's a lot easier for me to come into Gods presence. It is easier for me to talk to (pray) and commune with Him. I couldn't be more wrong. 

Isaiah 64v6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. 

Other times, when I haven't been so good, probably not been reading my Bible and praying or maybe I said things I know I ought not to have said or did things I had no business doing, my first response is usually like, "I'm sure God is angry with me." I tend to run and hide (like good ol' Adam and Eve) or even stay away from God. 

However, I am learning that the Love of God is all encompassing. He doesn't love like we do. His love for us does not waver. He loves ALL of me and His love bids me to come Now!! 

Isaiah 1v18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith The Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. 

Gods love is so strong and David understood this perfectly; that even when he sinned and wronged God he knew better than to stay away or hide. He (David) came clean and opened up to his Maker! Psalm 51. 

I have decided to do things differently now. Proverbs 3v5&6 v5 Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. v6 In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. NKJV

Joshua 1v8 Study this book of instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. NLT

No matter if I do right or wrong, No matter how I feel, tired or strong. These things will be at the back of my mind. 

•Never take my eyes off your word for it is the map that guides me back to you when I'm lost. 

•Never stop talking to you about what is going on with me for I can successfully hide from everyone else but I can't hide from you. 

•Never stop believing and trusting that You truly love me. And nothing can separate me from your love. 

I should stay in His love now and always NO MATTER WHAT!

PRAYER

Dear Lord, thank You, for I am convinced that You will never loosen your grip on me. Dear Father help me never to loosen my grip on You. No matter what. For I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen. 

Small Is Good

Everything great and mighty has it's roots  in something small.

Jesus said in Luke 13v18-21. "What is the kingdom of God like? (in all it's enormity). How can I illustrate it? v19. It is like a tiny mustard seed that grows and becomes a tree, and the birds make nests in its branches. 

v20. He also asked, "What else is the Kingdom of God like? v21. It is like the yeast a woman used in making bread. Even though she put only a little yeast in 3measures of flour, it permeated every part of the dough." NLT. 

I lost my balance for months. Got distracted and lost focus for a long while (since September, 2013. Since then, keeping my daily dilligence has been war between my reality and my will). 

I find myself opportuned to start again from scratch and to be quite honest looking at things from where I stand could be discouraging because I'm small right now. Prayers are short, vision is pretty much none but I thank God for His word of encouragement through our Lord Jesus Christ that small isn't bad at all; in fact small can be a kingdom in the end. 

PRAYER

Dear Lord, thank You for another begining that even though small, I can still grow to become mighty. I am willing please Lord furnish me with vision, so I can see and focus on where you are taking me to. Crystal clear vision so I can see what I can be through your own eyes, for it will keep me hopeful even as I press through every trial and challenge. Father I know you are always with me through your Holy Spirit but Lord please keep me in full awareness of your presence so, I can have the confidence in the support of your presence always for I know my strength can't take me far. Help me to be more disciplined, focused and consistent. 

Finally my Lord, my Maker you know me if I lack any thing please help me up lift me and hide me in your perfection. 

Thank You so much for the gift of life and another chance; Thank You so much for the gift of your presence through Your Holy Spirit. Please help me to work in line with Him and not against Him that I may fall in full alignment of your will for me. 

Thank you my father my maker.  For I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen. 

Help Me Lord

I truly dislike being disregarded, taken for granted, ignored, being used, I basically do not like it when I'm not being loved or when I'm not the centre of attraction of those that I love.. It's the honest truth!!

In as much as this is how I feel, I am forced to also take stock of how I treat those that love me! Care for me, pay attention to me, regard me! Do I exhibit the same love to them as I require from them?

I am forced to ask myself this question knowing that God loves me so much and has given me so much and continues to lavish so much on me, I am forced to as if I give back even a fraction of this same love in the attitude of honoring, respecting, valuing, fearing and acknowledging Him, I'm afraid the answer is no. Not all the time! In Luke 7v36-50 Jesus talks about the story of the Simon the Pharisee and a certain immoral woman. There is a show of different levels of love and regard for Jesus. I somemetimes behave like the Pharisee while I should at all times be like the humble immoral woman. 

PRAYER

Dear Lord, please help me put you first in all that I do! I never want to take you for granted. Help me show unconditional love, honour, respect and fear for you! I do not want to take your love and mercy for granted. 

Help me Lord for I pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen.